My Mental Health recently

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The quote above really resonates with me at the moment, I am making a change in my life to bring the light back in. I am moving away from a career I have wanted since I was 11 but now at 26 it isn't the path for me and it isn't where I want to be. I am coming to terms with that and trying at show myself that it is okay.

I stopped my current path as my anxiety was taking over, I could not breathe properly and felt like I could not leave the house. After taking some time away from my course I came to the realisation that I no longer had the desire to follow my current path of teaching. This upset me more than the change itself.

The decade long journey comes to an end and I have not much of a clue on where to go next. I am currently taking it day by day and being kind to myself. There is no one to blame, no negative feelings just a lack of passion, want and desire to continue on my current path fully.

I am coming to terms with the fact that it is okay to stop and put myself first, it is okay to ignore advice from others, it is okay to decide for yourself. It is okay to grieve the loss of a once loved career path.

I have very much felt like 'what is the point?' and 'why me, again?' and continuous crying that my eyes were puffy and red for a couple of days, I hardly wore makeup and didn't really get dressed. But I am slowly returning back to myself and feeling better in myself. I am beginning to notice the light coming back in even if I do have days of uncertainty and wondering if it was the right choice. But at the end of the day the only person who has to live with this decision is me and if I am happy with it then no one else should be concerned.

I must admit some days are a struggle but that is to be expected, as I have already said I am taking it day by day and seeing what happens next.

This post has been a lot of I, I, I but when looking after yourself it is okay to be a little selfish. I am taking steps to get back to being myself and will post an update at some point.

Taking it easy

Kisses

Katie xx